


Yaz' Worries

by BlueBoxDetective



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Between Episodes, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-27
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-28 18:10:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17187866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueBoxDetective/pseuds/BlueBoxDetective
Summary: After meeting her Nan in the past, Yaz gets thinking. She talks to the Doctor about her thoughts.





	Yaz' Worries

**Author's Note:**

> I am not native to English and do want to apologize for any mistakes I have made. Happy to hear your suggestions and opinions about the story :) 
> 
> Takes place after 11x06.  
> For the view Yaz and the Doctor had, follow this link: https://www.welt.de/wissenschaft/article122002159/So-schoen-verschmelzen-zwei-Galaxien.html#cs-Hubble-fotografiert-Antennen-Galaxien.jpg
> 
> Doctor Who is a trademark of the BBC, all rights reserved. My story is only shared for the enjoyment of others and is not intended to get myself any advantages or to create the feeling that the characters are my own.

There was a knock on the Tardis door, quite to the Doctors surprise. Graham, Ryan and Yaz had left to go home for a few hours, and she wasn't expecting them back until later that day.  
“Come in!” she yelled towards the doors, which opened on their own. Behind them stood Yaz, looking a bit uncertain.  
“Doc?” she asked, in a quiet voice. “Would it be okay if I joined you again?”  
“Sure!” the Doctor exclaimed excitedly “I'm always happy to have someone around me. Well, not anyone, but you aren't anyone. Always happy to have you! Do you want a biscuit? Just got myself some, they are really good.”  
Smiling Yaz walked into the Tardis and over to the console, where the Doctor seemingly had worked before she interrupted her. “I'm good, thanks,” she told the Doctor.  
“Alright,” the Doctor chattered happily “I was just reconfiguration the shields, if you don't mind I will just carry one. Oh, but feel free to join me, I can always use a helping hand!”  
Yaz went over to her and sat down onto the floor next to where sparks were flying from the console and the Doctor flung around, thrilled about her work. Leaning back on her hands she asked the Doctor: “Would you mind if I asked you a question?”  
“Not at all. I love questions! No better way to get a conversation started. What do you want to ask?”  
Yaz fell silent for a second as she thought about how to phrase her concern. The Doctor continued pushing buttons and pointing her sonic screwdriver at the consoles.  
“Ahm... I wanted to ask... How do you decide... When are you able to take actions, and when aren't you. Like, in the past, I mean.”  
“Oh.” The Doctor rested her hands on the Tardis console and looked at the woman on the floor. “Well... it is difficult. I mean, there are some things that can not change. They always have to happen for our reality to stay intact. Those times are called fixed points. Fixed points in time and space. But other times... It is not that simple...” her gaze wandered across the room as she talked, Yaz watching her carefully.  
“How frequent are such fixed points? Do you come across them often?”  
“No, no. Many things can change. Fixed points just happen with big, important stuff. Things that fundamentally change how something will progress.”  
“So... most of the times, you get to decide?”  
The Doctor looked at her for a second, then started her work again. “I wouldn't put it like that. I don't get to decide, I have to.”  
Yaz sensed that she had hit a nerve by accident. “No, you are right, I am sorry! That must be quite a challenge.”  
“Yes, it can be. But, why do you ask?” The Doctor fell back to a more cheerful voice. “Did you come to philosophize about the problems of time travel or did you have something else on your mind?”  
“Well, no. Actually not. You know... I got thinking. About... About my Nan. And Prem.” Yaz looked at the ceiling, seeking for the right words to continue. “If I hadn't been with you that day. If you had been on your own. With somebody else. Stumbled upon my Nan and Prem. If it wasn't for my timeline... Would you have saved Prem?” She looked at the Doctor, who had slowly put down her work. Now with a serious expression she walked over to Yaz and sat in front of her. “Yaz,” she held her hands out and took Yaz', holding them while speaking calmly, “I understand where those thoughts might come from. And... And I understand how difficult time travel can be. Believe me, I have been where you are now. You are thinking I might have saved Prem if I hadn't had you in mind.” She paused for a second, looking at the sadness on Yaz' face. “But that is not how it works... You can't always think in “ifs” and “whens”. There are so many galaxies out there. So many people. So many creatures. Humans. Non humans. And there is time. Time is going on, even if you can travel in it. Things happen, if we see them and if we don't. There are so many lives that will not be saved. Even if we try. We can't save everyone. I can't, you can't. And yes, sometimes, in those dark nights when you lay in bed, there are these thoughts. About people that weren't saved. I have seen so many of them. And I am sorry, for each and everyone that I wasn't able to save. But if you only look at it this way, you will miss out on the good parts.  
Just imagine how the day might have went if we had not been there. Would your Nan had been warned about the men coming to kill them? Would they have had a chance to escape, would they have survived? We don't know, and we will never know. But, and that is the important part: They did, because we where there.  
Do you remember Astos? I failed to save him. He died, and I couldn't do anything about it. But we got the rest of the ship to safety. Mabli, and Yoss, and his child, they are safe. That's what I tell myself on those dark nights. Because if I don't... I would go crazy. How would I ever get anything done? I would fall into deep, dark sadness.”  
The Doctor went silent, still looking at Yaz, who had listened to her short speech.  
“Yes,” Yaz muttered, looking away from the Doctor, “You are right. Others were saved. I just... I just feel so... guilty. I wish I could have done something about it...”  
“I understand. Sometimes it is extremely hard to watch as things happen. I have watched worlds burn up, people die and whole species going extinct. And I have cried many tears because of it. It takes some time to feel better. I am sorry.”  
Yaz looked up to the Doctor again. “No, it's not your fault. You are right. And I will get better, that's true.”  
The Doctor squeezed Yaz' hands slightly. “Maybe I can help. Do you want me to show you something nice for a change? Have a look at what else the universe has to offer?”  
“Oh, but what about Ryan and Graham?”  
“Don't worry, we will be back in five minutes. Luxury of having a time machine. They won't even know we were gone!” The Doctor leaped to her feet and began flicking some switches. Yaz got up, and as she was standing, the Doctor already pulled her towards the doors. She opened them and gestured Yaz to sit next to her at the entrance to the Tardis, looking outside.  
Yaz was speechless as she looked into space. They were looking upon a vortex of pink and red gas clouds and dozens of shining stars, all seemingly swirling around a shining light in the middle of it all.  
“Isn't it beautiful?” The Doctor asked softly. “Those are two galaxies, fusing together over time. NGC 4038 and NGC 4039, that's how the humans call them. They can watch it since 1785, isn't that fascinating? And as those two galaxies fuse, they get destroyed. But, as we can see now, so many new and beautiful things are being produced. And it looks wonderful. At least in my opinion.”  
“It truly does,” Yaz whispers and places her head against the Doctors shoulder. As a response, the Doctor puts her arm around Yaz and softly pulls her towards herself, allowing Yaz to cuddle up to her. Yaz smiles slightly. “Thank you, Doc. This is really nice.”  
“Your welcome. Happy you like it.” the Doctor answers softly.


End file.
